GWYSA?
Did you think that cookie was a cell phone?
Were you trying to call your fiance in Paris and the connection failed?
Aren’t you a little young to be engaged?
Shut it girl.
Can I eat your cookie now? Thanks.
GWYSA?
Did someone take your laundry out of the dryer?
Are you missing some panties?
Did you rely on them to help you remember the days of the week?
Did you have a traumatic calendar-related experience?
GWYSA?
Do your shoes hurt?
Did you drop all your rent money on them?
Did a bird drop a present on your shoulder when you left the store?
Are you scared of birds more than bird shit?
GWYSA?
Did you get water in your ear?
Is it still in there?
Did it get in there when you were lifeguarding for rich people’s dogs’ swimming lessons?
Do they have those?
GWYSA?
Did you lose your Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure throw pillow?
Do you think your boyfriend took it when he left you?
Did he leave you for Keanu?
Did you not know Keanu Reeves is gay?
GWYSA?
Did someone tell you they did your dad in the 70s?
Was she drunk?
At brunch?
Was it your aunt?
GWYSA?
Did someone make you put on a suit and all you want to do is wear jammies and watch old movies?
Did the fax not go through?
Was it because the fax machine broke?
Did you sit on it by accident?
GWYSA?
Did you just miss the ice cream man?
Did some jackass cut you off even though you had the right of way?
You didn’t.
You can’t drive.
Put down the phone, girl.
GWYSA?
Did the customer service guy in India put you on hold again?
Did you realize that hair color is not very flattering?
Did your cat die?
You look like a cat person.
GWYSA?
Did you wipe your cheese doodle fingers on your white shirt?
Was it your favorite shirt?
Did you grow up with a cleaning lady so you don’t know how to wash a white shirt?
GWYSA?
Did you just find out Kurt Cobain died?
Did you hear they’re making a video game about it?
Did you just hear about video games?
GWYSA?
Did you burn your cookies?
Did you put nuts in them and just found out the person they’re for is allergic to nuts?
Did you ask about their allergies before baking?
GWYSA?
Did Daddy stop payment on your Mini?
Did your twin sister forget your birthday?
Did someone give you whole milk instead of skim?
Did you trust Luke Wilson’s new warm, chubby glow and switch to AT&T?
